Elizabeth cried a lot from the day she was born, I remember thinking that first day and night how unsettled she was compared to the other babies on the ward but I thought it must be the shock of being born suddenly by caesarean and it would pass in a couple of days… It didn’t. She cried just about every waking minute (unless she was asleep or being breastfed) until she was about 5 months old. Those months were very challenging, especially with an older sibling to look after as well. During that time Elizabeth would not settle in her moses basket to sleep and wanted to be held all the time. If I tried to put her down she cried. I found it really stressful because I couldn’t get on with anything and I kept thinking that I should be coping better (like all those other great mums). When I look back now I think she was just really sensitive and needed a lot of comfort. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be “coping well”, going out and managing all the household tasks. I wish I had taken the pressure off myself a bit and realised it is ok to sit in your pyjamas and cuddle your baby all day if that is what your baby needs. During early motherhood people offer a lot of well meaning advice but not every baby (and mum) is the same and it is really important to do things your own way.

My husband found things particularly difficult with Elizabeth. She was always worse in the evenings when he was at home and he felt frustrated and useless because she would not settle with him and he could not feed her. When she was about 3 months old he got really depressed because he felt that he could not bond with her or comfort her. This really upset me and was hard for us as a family.

One thing that helped me was that my sister had had a crying baby and I knew that this phase would pass in time. This was really reassuring for me. As time passed by this phase passed for us too (almost without us noticing) and a few months later when Elizabeth was gigging and smiling for daddy we both said we could hardly believe how things were a few months before.

Elizabeth is now 18 months old and everyone always comments on how happy and easy going she is. She settled really easily at nursery and rarely cries. While it was a really challenging five months, once it had passed we soon got over it. My advice to a family with a baby like Elizabeth would be try to be as relaxed as you can about it and don’t be hard on yourself, you are doing the best you can!