Being a Mum to two boys it came as a shock when my third son was very unsettled and cried for long periods of time. I had lost count of how many times people had said that the third child would just fit straight in to our family life, well this wasn’t the case. The constant crying left me feeling both frustrated and exhausted. Trying to juggle my time between my three children was hard and the time I did spend with them wasn’t the quality time we used to have, this made me feel very guilty. The very stable long term relationship with my husband was also rocked as we had little or no time together and what time we did have we were both exhausted and stressed, it felt like our family had been turned upside down.

Through reading about crying babies and being part of the Surviving Crying Study I soon came to realise that some babies do just cry and it doesn’t have to be due to things such as pain or hunger but can be a normal developmental stage. Once accepting this I found it easier to manage, already being a mum my experience allowed me to be confident that I wasn’t missing anything and that it was just a phase that we all had to get through as a family. Taking one day at a time helped me cope, if I had thought about the crying lasting months it would have been overwhelming, I had some days better than others but what I did know was whatever the day held it was one day closer to the end of this phase.

I tried many techniques to try and settle my baby, the ones in which I found the most useful were having some noise in the background whether it be white noise or some music playing. I would also ensure when he was in his Moses basket that he was all snuggled firmly in his blankets so he felt secure.

Having a crying baby made leaving the house hard, but I found going to parent and toddler groups a real lifeline. Having other Mums there to speak to, many who had been through such experiences provided great support and reassurance, as well as some great tips. The added bonus being that many of the Mums used to love having a cuddle, crying or not, so it gave me a chance for a hot cup of coffee.

I found that having a crying baby was very hard emotionally, you just so desperately want to comfort your baby because that is what Mothers do, but having the knowledge that it is nothing that you are doing does take some of the stress out of the situation. Allowing family and friends to help too is also important as everybody needs a break, it doesn’t mean you can’t cope. Be grateful of any offer and also don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed. I found from experience that explaining to whoever is going to look after your baby about the episodes of prolonged crying does help reduce stress for those helping but also prevents a barrage of questions about what is wrong with your baby dispelling negative attitudes.

Well, 9 months on we have a beautiful, smiley, happy baby who brings joy to the whole family. The house is now calm and settled (well as much as it can be with 3 boys!!!!) and we are looking forward to many fun times ahead.